Real Name: Lynne Kelly.

Also Answers To: "Link", "Spider-woman".

Occupation / Title: Scribe, Expert educator, Maths geek, Magician & weaver of mysteries, Scary spider lady, Card whoosher, Mildly deranged botanist, Maze conqueror, Cook, Unemployed housewife.

Brief Summary: Imagine the best, most fun, most easy to get along with, kindest, most helpful friend you've ever had, multiplied by two, with special magic powers.

World Records Held:
Best Speaker / Entertainer In Australia (any subject).
Highest Known Tolerance To Music Playing In Ian's Car.
Inventor of Tauromancy, the world's most accurate psychic divination system.
Inventor of the Kelly (TM) Method for preparing Corner Shorts, which is secret magician stuff so I can't explain it here, but is the best method yet devised.
Former Female Billiards Champion.

Other Notable Achievements & Honours: The only person in the world to have had both fiction and non-fiction books published who can also execute a one-handed fan of cards and identify spider species on sight. Brilliant email correspondent.

Best Party Trick: Demonstrating the facial expression which, during her professional teaching days, she  kept in reserve for female teachers with "qualifications" in "women's studies".

Special Powers: (1) When visiting touristy places (e.g. in Venice), is very good at giving 'entrance fee' money to officials on the door who turn out not to be officials at all, but just passing vagrants loitering near the door at the time. Even funnier when it's a place that doesn't even have an entry fee. (2) Can read minds and predict the future. (3) Can make any dull-as-mud subject interesting to any audience. (4) Can communicate with dolls and bears. (5) Can detect and locate pelargoniums anywhere within 1 mile radius.

Known Weaknesses: Inability to appreciate just how dull Jane Austen is. Inability to write a dull email.

Catchphrase: "Oh look, pelargoniums!".

Official Information: www.lynnekelly.com.au