July 2. Mandolin Festival And Dixie The Amorous Beagle.

The day of sad sweet sorrow as I left the Lucerne Hotel. Can you imagine my grief? I hugged all the staff one by one and exchanged small gifts. It was hard to choke back the tears, but I had promised myself I wouldn't cry. My feet were slow and my heart was heavy as I departed their doors for the last time.

I Amtrak'd from NY Penn Central to Providence, Rhode Island. I liked the Amtrak service, but was surprised how slowly the trains go (around 50 mph). Japanese 'bullet' trains, as we know, travel at half the speed of light. Most European networks aren't far behind, with the French being particularly slick. As for the UK, some of our trains can theoretically achieve 125mph except the entire network is usually at a standstill because there's a snowflake on the track, or everyone is on strike (1 week in 3), or the trains have been smashed to match wood by soccer fans.

According to its website, Providence is 'America's Renaissance City'. It is also home of the Providence International Mandolin Festival, and was voted by Money magazine as 'best place to retire', which I assume means 'best place to wait to die'. I was visiting Providence to stay with my friends Rory Raven and Judy Reilly at their lovely home set in its own grounds along a secluded stretch of coastline:

Rory and Judy made me very welcome, and I was pleased to meet other members of their household: Dixie the beagle, CJ the cat (and reluctant target of Dixie's more amorous moods), Wilkie and Bellamy the all-knowing Black Cats of Thoth, and a fourth 'occasional' cat of whom I only saw a swift-vanishing tail. They also have a number of bears living with them, which is always the sign of a good home. 

On the evening of my arrival, as luck would have it, Rory was performing his excellent one-man mind-reading show which I went to see, making it the fourth magic show of my trip. Well, you can never have too many magic shows.

As Rory will read this account at some point, I'd love to describe the show as a limp trudge through his personal collection of the more easy-to-figure-out kind of magic tricks, delivered with all the flair of a damp match. However, I am honour-bound to report that it was actually very good indeed. Rory presents some first-rate effects, offering just the right amount of variety, and combines excellent technical skills with a wonderful, warm performing presence.

Fun with statistics: Rhode Island is the smallest state, was the first to declare independence, and was the only one never to formally ratify the 18th Amendment (prohibition).

July 26 - 29. Superman And The Splash Duck.

Rory knows Providence inside out, and makes a very good tour guide. Mind you, it's easier to be a tour guide in Providence than almost anywhere else, since you can just point to things and say 'Roger Williams'. For the uninitiated, R. Williams Esq. was Thomas Paine, Gandhi and Superman rolled into one. He founded Providence in 1636 and died in 1683. Nobody else has done much there since, so everything is still named after him. There is a Roger Williams Statue, Park, Park Zoo, Park Botanical Gardens, University, Medical Centre, Hotel, Baptist Church, Street and, in the heart of town, a Mc-RogerWilliams-Donalds.

Rory not only showed me round the city, but also took me on a Splash Duck.

A Splash Duck is an amphibious vehicle that takes tourists around the historic city streets and then, after an appropriately exciting descent into the water, around the harbour. It was on this trip that I spotted one of the most amazing buildings I have ever seen:

You will have to click on the photo to learn what is so special about it!

Rory and I also discovered the one thing that you can do just about anywhere except Providence. This is such a glorious story that I've written it up separately (see The Vault > Fun > Urban Nightmares #6 - 'Film Processing In Providence'). Rory also took me to eat at Joe's American Bar and Grille, where I could enjoy really excellent fajitas. It is my unswerving belief that fajitas is the best food in the world, and I'm somewhat annoyed that decent fajitas cannot be found anywhere in the UK.

For a special treat, Rory and Judy took me on a day trip to Newport, home of the first circus in the United States (1774). Among other highlights, I managed to take this photo which, I feel, captures the exquisite beauty of Newport bay, the playful iridescent counterpoint of light and colour as the shimmering hues entrance the eye and lift the spirit:

Trust me, the photo above is, if anything, flatteringly enhanced. I was also delighted to take this photo of the World's Worst Oil Painting. This was actually for sale in a local shop, and you can have fun guessing the price:

The further we walked around Newport, the more gems we unearthed. Here, for example, is the best sign I've ever seen in a shop window:

Click on the photo to see if you could identify the object in question (but don't get your hopes up.)

I think it's worth stating for the record that Rory and Judy are two of the best people in the whole world. Judy is very bright, and also very funny with her own distinctive views. Rory is generous and accommodating to a fault, and he and I enjoyed countless hours of magic geek chat and rumination, which is the sort of thing magic geeks love to do. I can't honestly remember the last time I had so much fun (or ate so much ice-cream). Both Rory and Judy were also keen to assist my ambitions to become an American citizen. To this end, Judy explained the rudiments of baseball and Rory taught me the Pledge of Allegiance. Not only that, but at a later date they even sent me a Pledge of Allegience T-shirt, which I wear proudly.

I'm not a Yank just yet. But I have the flag on my desk, and I can recite the Pledge, so I guess I'm almost there. Teetering, you might say, on the Edge of Allegiance. 

Sincere and lasting thanks to everyone who made the trip such fun. You are all more wonderful than you know.

July 29. Left home. Came back to England.

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